Inspiration

04/21/2011

Many of my stories, “Win/Win Situation”, “Royally Fucked”, “Motorcycle Mama”, “Turnabout”, and “Ocean Interlude”, for instance, were written in response to a specific woman asking me to write a story based on her particular fantasies. In the same way that being touched by someone else is more exciting than touching oneself, seeing your fantasies filtered through the mind of another can add to the thrill.

And for me, as a writer, the delight of challenging myself to inhabit another’s skin and see the world through her eyes is profoundly satisfying.

Someone reviewing “Royally Fucked” said, “Definitely written by a woman”. That’s the highest compliment. That’s what I’m aiming for.

If you have a fantasy you’d like to see filtered through my erotic mind please contact me through this blog and if your fantasy inspires me the world might see the result (your part will be acknowledged only if you wish it to be).

Whether you have a fantasy or not I’d love to hear from you.


Revival

04/21/2011

I started this blog in September 2009 thinking I’d use it to promote my ebook collection of erotic stories, “Balls of Cobalt Blue”. Nothing much happened and I moved on to working on my songwriting through the collaboration site Kompoz.com.

Now, a year and a half later, the world of ebook publication is breaking loose.

I began reading J.A. Konrath’s blog, A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing, a little over a month ago and his reports on the successes enjoyed by many indie writers has revived my enthusiasm for publishing, and writing, my erotic fiction.

At the moment I’m in the process of uploading all my existing stories to Smashwords, Amazon, and Xin Xii (which distributes ebooks to Europe). As soon as this is accomplished I will begin writing new stories and update this blog on a more consistent basis.


Corresponding With Women About Sex And Sexual Fantasies: Part 1

10/12/2009

Like a lot of things it happened while I was trying to do something else. My goal at the time was to find women to have sex with. A goal that didn’t meet with much success. But slowly my priorities changed and I began to enjoy corresponding with women about sex just for the sake of the intimate revelations.

Sometime in the early 80s I began answering, and placing, ads in swingers contact publications. I’d been aware of these publications for several years before then but was more interested in reading the ads, looking at the pictures, and fantasizing about meetings.

I don’t recall exactly what spurred me to take the next step but I began answering some of the ads that seemed especially appealing.

I was doing this as a single man. Single men in the swinging lifestyle have difficulty finding women interested in meeting them. The main problem is that there are so many other men, single and otherwise, beating around the same bushes. And it doesn’t help that single men have a reputation for being pushy, socially inept, and rude.

Personally the social inept shoe fit me pretty well. Still does, to some extent. So I started out with the odds against me.

I persevered and ended up answering a lot of ads, hundreds I’m sure. And after very limited success with answering ads I began placing my own; it seemed like there would be  less work involved if I knew from the start that I was responding to someone who’d already expressed an interest in me. It was, in fact, less work. Very few women expressed any interest in meeting me.

But there were those, most often some distance away from where I was living, who wondered if I would like to be their penpal. They had secrets. Secrets they wanted to share with someone. Someone they could feel safe with because we were never going to meet.

Slowly I began to focus on these women; answering their ads and publishing ads directed at them. I connected with about a hundred women over the course of nearly fifteen years. As the Internet evolved I sought correspondents there. Some of these exchanges lasted for only a letter or two; others lasted for years.

 I learned a lot about the secret lives of women. They told me about affairs they’d had or were having. About early sexual experiences or abuse. They shared their feelings of clandestine joy, hidden pain, surreptitious wonderment at their own newly discovered sexuality, suppressed anger at those who abused or constrained them, and, sometimes, the buried guilt of having to hide so much from the people close to them.

 At first my primary interest was in learning about their real-life experiences and sharing mine. But after a while we were sharing our fantasies as well. I found myself imagining what it would be like to enter into a particular woman’s fantasy and writing her about my ideas. Some wanted me to continue and create more elaborate scenarios. This is how my erotic writing began.

The conventional wisdom about women’s fantasies is that women prefer their erotica to be less than explicit, almost fluffy; the stuff of popular romance novels. This was not my experience. I don’t know how representative my correspondents were of women in general but they quickly became impatient with my “sensitive guy” approach and requested more explicit language with edgier scenes. As I mentioned in an earlier post one of my most popular stories, based on a correspondence I had with a woman in Georgia, involved a situation very close to rape.

This was an extreme case. But many did involve behavior that, no doubt, would have shocked my penpal’s friends and family; public sex, multiple partners, Black men, bikers, and incest. To name a few.

That’s how my correspondences started and gives you an overview of the subject matter. I’ll explore this theme further in future posts. 


Heels In Porn

10/05/2009

Okay. This is going to be a bit of a rant.

For the sake of full disclosure I have to say that I prefer my ladies bare naked. Bared of any shred of lingerie not to mention stiletto armored shoes or fuck me pumps.

So, just what is it about all this porn with women wearing heels to bed? Shouldn’t there be some sort of government agency warning about the dangers of wearing lethal weapons in intimate circumstances? Jeez. The cameraman could get his lens punched out when he came in for a close up.

I actually had, swear to God, a female Pakistani correspondent of mine ask if all American women wore high heels to bed. She’d seen some of our porn and thought it might truly reflect our sexual habits.

Now, granted, there’s a certain artificiality about many erotic practices. And some of them make sense to me even if they don’t have the slightest effect on my libido. But high heels in bed? That totally loses me.

A woman standing in stiletto heels can create, I’ll admit, an appealing vertical line. But horizontal with her legs in the air? I don’t think so. Just looks weird to me.

The question is, I guess, are there really a lot of men out there buying videos and collecting photos for the specific pleasure of seeing a woman stick her heel clad feet towards the sky? Or is it some kind of historical erotic residue from the days when “a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking” to quote Cole Porter?

Or am I simply out of step?

Click, click, click, click.


The Power of Erotica

09/29/2009

Erotica. What a slippery word. For many, I suspect, it stands for a kind of genteel porn that is almost acceptable in well-mannered society. Almost. But not quite.

But sexuality doesn’t partner well with political correctness of any stripe. Erotica has sexual lust in its heart. So, it seems to me, the erotic will gambol for all eternity outside the pale.

There was a time, following the success of Deep Throat and Behind The Green Door, when porn filmmakers sought to storm the gates of Hollywood. They envisioned mainstream movies laced with scenes of hardcore sex. But it was not to be. And, I believe, for very good reasons.

The roots of our sexuality thrust down into some very dark places full of fear, anger, violence, aggression and surrender.

I know women (and no doubt there are men as well) whose most powerful fantasies are fueled by the memories of their experiences of being sexually abused as children. These fantasies are often very dark and tangled. They wander, haunted, in the shadows of their abusers.  And those hauntings are hard to incorporate into a day to day persona.

I wrote my most well received erotic story, Win/Win Situation, which can be found in my short story collection Balls Of Cobalt Blue, for a woman who wanted me to describe her being raped by an escaped prisoner. That was a tough one. My imagination doesn’t tend to run towards rough sex. So, in the end, I fudged and implied the woman’s consent. But the result was still raw enough enflame the libidos of those who are drawn to this fantasy.

And yet the erotic, at the very same time, is informed with empathy, compassion, and the sweet intimacy of mutual pleasure. Not to mention just plain fun. It makes for a strange, and often irrational, brew.

And it’s this diverse combination of secret urges and shared pleasure that makes the erotic so powerful. And so private.

Something that will drive one person wild with desire can leave another untouched. Or repulsed. An act that one person interprets as aggressive and degrading can be stimulating and affirming to another.

This is where most of the attempts at imposing a general sexual morality break down. Trying to generalize about the erotic impulse is a lot harder than rounding up a passel of stampeding cats. Simply take a look at the societies that punish adultery by stoning women and men to death and you’ll see that even in the face of such a terrible penalty there are those who cannot, or choose not to, control their erotic impulses.

The erotic is akin to those blades of grass that push their way through the cracks in concrete. “The force that through the green fuse drives the flower/Drives my green age…” as Dylan Thomas put it.

Such a force is not to be trifled with. 


One For The Guinness Book of World Records: The Oldest Active Swinger

09/21/2009

My partner and I attended a swing party this past weekend. Most of the participants were in their middle 50’s to middle 60’s. And this was a serious play party, not a misnamed social event.

And it got me to thinking.

When I was young most of my elders seemed sexless. I know now that that could not have been the case for many of them. But, as I recall, the general perception of older people was that they were past the point where sex mattered. Sex was for the young.

But then in the 1950’s learned medical men were telling us that women didn’t fantasize about sex or have orgasms. It’s amazing how quickly that changed.

Now society’s view of the sexual lives of older folks is changing.

My real question is, “When am I going to have to stop?” I’m aware of people in their 70’s who are still swinging so I know I have a ways to go.

But I’m curious. Who IS the oldest active swinger?


How Spam Inspired An Erotic Story

09/15/2009

Several years ago, during the golden age of spam, I got hundreds, at least, and probably thousands, of emails that claimed to have a means, if I paid their price, to enlarge my penis. You probably got them too.

A portion of my mornings was spent excising these pesky sales letters from my inbox.

One day, as I performed this tedious ritual, I began to wonder how successful these emails could be. Who in the world could believe these outrageous claims?

Okay. Granted. Male vanity being what it is the idea of having a really big pecker is a powerful motivating force. But give me a break! These assertions were absurd.

It got me thinking. What if? What if one of these potions did work? What if it worked too well and a man ended up with a monster shlong he couldn’t find a home for? And so my story, “A Huge One Could Be Yours,” was born.

The response has been mixed. Some people think it’s really funny and others think it’s just weird. The strangest reaction though has been the guys who think it’s true and ask me where they can get the cream I mention. So maybe those spammers made more money than anyone realizes.

Decide for yourself whether I have a keen sense of humor or I’m just very odd by going to the sample section of my book Balls Of Cobalt Blue. You’ll need to jump to page 78 to find the beginning of the story.

Here’s the link. It’s free!

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/3704?ref=jazm


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